Because you looked at me
by HelloOlivia
Summary: I found you broken hearted, alone and angry at the world. When I met you Eli, you needed me. Now at the time that I need you most, you can't even see me. ElixOC with implied Eclare.


_**AUTHORS NOTE: Hello! Very first fanfiction, yaaaaay! This is written from an unknown original characters point of view, who was a friend to Eli before Clare came along. I know it's a tad confusing, and I'm sorry! I hope you enjoy, Reviews are ALWAYS welcome ;D**_

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the fine hunk of man that is Elijah Goldsworthy, nor do I own any other characters except for my OC.

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_~ In the end, everyone ends up alone ~_

I met you in the hall at school. Your locker was two down from mine. You looked sad. I wanted to introduce myself but you left so quickly that I didn't have time. Then at lunch, you were sitting alone, but I didn't want to bother you. After school though we crossed paths in the parking lot. You made me drop my book. "Perks of being a wallflower?" you asked me and I blushed. But it's my favorite book and I told you that. You skimmed over the back before handing it to me. I decided to introduce myself then and you smiled and introduced yourself. That made me smile. The next day, we sat together at lunch. I didn't feel like I was bothering you anymore.

We became best friends. We told eachother everything. Because we knew that the other wouldn't judge. You told me about how you used to be addicted to antidepressants. I told you that my father was a recovering alcoholic an that I used to cut myself in junior high. You never judged. But you were always there to listen. That alone made me feel better.

You lost her. Julia. And you loved her, too. You told me that you could never **ever** love anyone again. That you felt like you didn't deserve to. But I hoped to god that maybe, just maybe you were wrong.

I stayed by your side, through EVERYTHING. And then you met _her._ Clare. She's beautiful, smart, christian. She taught you about forgiveness. You listened to **her**.

"I think I love her" you said to me one day as we worked on Morty. I think I died, right then and there. You couldn't see that though. You didn't see past my fake smile.

I knew I was losing you. I _think _I did anyways.

I chose to look past the fact that you couldn't see something SO obvious. I looked past the fact that you didn't realise that I started to hurt myself like before, or that you didn't answer the phone when I called because my parents were arguing AGAIN.

Three months later, my arms were mangled, my clothes baggy. But YOU were happy and that's what mattered. I tried to think of that instead of my own sick life.

Another month passed. When was the last time I talked to you? I miss you. Do you ever miss me? Or are you too busy? I need you. I wonder if you know that. I hope that you talk to me soon. I don't feel right recently.

I saw you and her today, outside. With adam. You looked happy, that hurt. I felt selfish then, so I cut extra deep that night. I do it almost every night now.

Then when my dad came home drunk and he was scaring me, I left the house. I went to our spot. Do you remember? At the park. Our secret place that was perfect. Quiet, personal, everything we needed to get away from the world. You were there. I knew you missed me, I knew that you'd be here. But I was wrong. She was with you then. That girl. She is everything that I wish I could be. She giggled, you laughed, I cried. But you wouldn't know because you couldn't see me. I guess it's your spot now.

At school when I see you in the halls you don't smile anymore. It hurts. A lot. How did this happen, Eli? What did I do? I'm sorry. Please, PLEASE forgive me. I need you, more then you could ever know.

I sat outside in the grassy area across the street from the school. Alone, as usual. I saw you and her, deliriously happy. Sitting at a table together. I wish that she'd die, like Julia did, then maybe you'd need me again. We could help eachother. Listen to that music that you love, that I tolerated for you. I'd had enough of your love fest and stood to leave. My heart beating oddly against my ribs.

I crossed the street to go back to school. "HEY LOOK OUT!" I heard someone yell. I looked at you. You looked back. You looked terrified. I smiled because you finally looked at me. Breaks screeched. I felt my body slam against something hard and I was thrown through the air. I hit the ground with a sickening crunch. But I smiled because you finally looked at me. It hurts to breathe. I'm really tired. I think I'll go to sleep now. Someone called my name. It sounded like you. Why are you crying, Eli? Don't be sad. But I really am tired. I can talk to you when I wake up. And it's okay, because you looked at me.


End file.
